There is a dog named Blue
He is always untying my shoes
I then thought “I wish he would do some dishes”
Then that wish came true
There is a dog named Blue
He is always untying my shoes
I then thought “I wish he would do some dishes”
Then that wish came true
I have been asked to write about my parents James Elmer McGee & Belva Atossa Armstrong and their life together.
My father was known as Elmer though many people called him by his nickname ‘Jockey’ The name was given to him by friends when he had his 1st horse at 15 or 16 years of age. An older man stopped him in the road and asked him if he’d like to trade-after some talk they did. The other man bragged about beating this kid-the older man got a fine looking horse but most of them knew Dads horse ‘heaves’ (a lung problem so he could only go at a slow walk.)
My mother was known as Belle by nearly everyone as I remember; her half sister Iva called her Belva.
Only two of my children can remember my father at all-the oldest Sharon was not quite 7 years when he died at age 69 in McPherson hospital in Howell-following a 2 year heart condition. Patti was 3 years-Linda 1.5 and Nancy on the way.
My mother was rather tall 5”7’ and slim. She had very long & thick black hair. [Russell being the only child to get her type of hair]. She could easily sit on her braid. The McGee’s were somewhat short & stocky. She was born on a 40 acre farm near Leslie, Michigan. Her father, much older than her mother, died when she was 12 & her only brother 2 years. Her mother remarried-at the time my parents married she had a half sister Iva. They remained close till her death. Aunt Iva & I wrote to each other.
I’m remembering what my mother had told me about the early days of her & fathers life. She & Dad met at a Christian Endeavor meeting (youth group) at the local church where she lived near Leslie, Michigan. Dad would have been working somewhere nearby-perhaps for a farmer or as a carpenter at a sawmill. He started walking her home.
Mother was 15 years; Dad was 19 years at that time. They soon decided to be married, live with her mother and stepfather on the 40 acre farm that belonged to her mother as the widow of John Winter Armstrong. Her mother was not ready to lose her. She would make special effort to learn housekeeping. They were married June 22, 1898 just after my fathers 20th birthday (June 15, 1878) and & weeks before her 16th birthday (September 04, 1883). Mom said she would get married only if a minister performed the ceremony, no city hall for her.
They stayed with her family for a short time, but mother soon wanted her own place and more privacy. The family household had 6 people. Her mother, stepfather, 6 year old brother Ray and half sister Iva. My father had money in the bank, $100.00, his own horse and buggy. Dad could always get work. They stayed with his sister & husband Grace & Winfield Hath and their son Jerome for a short time. They then moved to a tenant house belonging to John Norton where he worked by the year. They had garden space-eggs and fresh meat during winter-chicken whatever produce from the farm plus his wages.
Dad liked to hunt and always had a shotgun and rifle. Let me say here that he had no patience with careless handling of guns–never a loaded gun inside a building. In fact, he had little patience with one not assuming responsibility. Which made it hard for him when his sons were growing up. I think he expected them to grow up faster (as he had to) than they could. They were many places to hunt as Dad was well liked and knew many people.
They were married a bit past 4 years before the 1st child, my brother, William Leland was born. September 3rd, 1904. Joseph Ross was next (named after a Uncle & cousin). Before the third son James Marshall was born they had moved to another farm owned by a well-to-do farmer John Donahue-a very caring and helpful catholic family who would end up being life long friends.
From there they moved to Gregory, Michigan where Dad had lived as a young boy into his teenage years. Here he worked as a carpenter and other work when available. Hunted in the winter. He helped build the hardware store that still stands today.
This must have been a good time for them. Dads oldest brother and family were nearby, Uncle Charles and Aunt Maggie (Margaret) and 4 children. A sister Mina Wilhelmina married to William Cone and their 7 children also lived close. Nephew Don McCorney & wife Adelaide (Plummer) lived in town. Don was the barber in Gregory for many years. Don was the son of Aunt Alma. Don cut Mom’s hair after making her sit for an hour and think about what she was actually doing. He really did not want to cut her beautiful hair.
Mom was very well liked by all Dads family and they were very dear to her. She really honed her housekeeping skills with direction from Dads sisters. They all helped each other. One time when Mother was sick and staying in bed Aunt Maggie came to help out. Dad stayed home-thought it would be a good time to catch up on chores around the house. Aunt Maggie put up with it for a bit then went outside and yelled “First you pound on one side of the house, then you go to the other side and pound. If you want to pound go over in the woods and pound.” Mother knew he was just wanting to stay close and still keep busy.
Those were good years for them, Mother joined ‘Macabees’ and enjoyed the meeting & the money making projects they did. They also had speakers on current events.
Both Mom & Dad had good voices and liked to sing. Dads brother, Uncle Colb and Aunt Julia (Caskie) were the same. They did more with plays etc…They had one child Joseph Ross. Mom got a 5 string banjo so she could chord, Dad and Uncle Colb would play the harmonica-everyone would sing-little ones could stay up late, usually till we went to sleep standing up. This continued for years even after we moved to the farm and Colb & Julia had moved to Lansing, Michigan. Cousin Ross was grown by then and back from France. Thanks be to God. The 1st time I ever remember seeing cousin Ross he came and left before Dad returned home. I ran down the road to meet Dad and as soon as he put me in the wagon I told him about the tall man coming & that Mamma had hugged and kissed him. If Ross had been in uniform I might have known him since we had a nice picture of him.
At that time they lived in a small house that had been the Gregory school. Russell Elmer was born there and a girl Wilma Ione. She lived only 6 weeks due to spina bifida. That was very hard for all of them, but when my brother Guy Carlton was born well & strong he was loved and much as could be and stayed at home longer than any of us no getting married till he was in his late 30’s.
They then sold that place and rented from a neighbor across the road (Jim Stackable) where I Adelaide Norrine and my sister Mina (Wilhelmina) were born. From there we moved to a rented farm on Spears Road-toward Pinckney. Dad had bought 2 teams of horses while still in the school house. Here they also had some cows, chickens and rabbits. They raised hay & grain for the stock. In the summertime he also worked helping to build roads. He was paid for his work plus use of his teams and wagons. My brother Milton Ray (Jack) was born while we lived here.
The owners wanted the place back so they moved again to what was known as the Hemingway Place. That was on the Arnold road next to the Donahue farm.
I was 4 years at that time.(which would make my oldest brother Lee 16 years) The Donahue were wonderful neighbors and friends. The unmarried daughter Nellie would often have Mina and I stay overnight for as long as we felt comfortable. Her brother John L always told us he had a wooden leg and would let us punch it. That is until Nellie gave us each a pin that was when the game ended no more punching or kicking his leg. Mr. Donahue helped pack the wagons when we moved. He also held the mortgage when they bought the old Enoch Burden farm (240 acres) in Marion Township where Dad began farming in earnest and Fred was born. Dad also worked changing the Pingree Road from dirt to gravel. He had 2 teams & wagons going-one with no driver-the horses knew the way and what they were supposed to do. He took good care of his horses. They were washed down each night. We young children would see them go past the house. Russell and Colb had a job as water boys. Russell quit soon, Colb stayed on the rest of the summer.
Dad bought more milking cows and started selling milk. That made more work for Mother-washing more milk pails. Later there was a milking machine (powered by gasoline motor) and cram separator. I can’t remember the year that buyer’s came from the State of New York to buy Dad’s Holstein Milker’s, the price was just too good to turn down. After that they never had the nice looking herd again but to sell milk I don’t think it mattered. He bought Jersey’s and we made butter again.
Mother did more than her share what with canning, baking bread and washing with her Maytag Washing machine. Mina & I learned from her. She was a very good seamstress also and made many of our clothes–even the smaller boys shirts etc. Another thing she did that we all enjoyed was read out loud. She always told stories or read or sang to all of her children. She had elocution training lessons as a child so it was a pleasure to listen to her speak. Winter evenings were when we enjoyed that the most. In summer there were other things to occupy our time what with the long daylight evenings. In winter dishes were out of the way, fudge and popcorn made–apples brought up from the cellar–everyone ready for bed. The old books–Last of the Mohicans, Lena Rivers, Zane Grey, stories & lots of magazines–Country Gentleman, Woman’s Home Companion–always plenty of reading material. Daily & Weekly newspapers, Saturday Evening Post–how I wish I had those old covers…Norman Rockwell…
We would take turns combing & brushing Mother’s long hair and someone else would massage her feet. We played cards, checkers and other games. Dad taught me Euchre without looking at his cards and beat me every time for awhile. Bedtime was 9:30–10:00 at the latest.
When Edison put in rural lines the free service ended at the farm north of us, so Dad had to pay for the poles to be installed. That made things easier in many ways. No more hand pumping water for stock to drink & cold milk etc. was now available.
June 1926 there was a fire starting at the north end of the big barn and quickly spread to the horse barn. It was after milking. Ross & Colb were the only older boys big enough to help. Dad & Ross drove the cows from the barnyard right over the fence since there was no gate on that side into an open field. The horses were already at pasture. Dad and the boys went into the horse barn grabbed what harnesses and whatever they could and had to go out the other end–they would not have made it out the front. An equipment shed was also lost, but the granary & chicken coup no entirely destroyed. The granary was also where Dad kept all his carpentry tools, some were burned.
There was no phone but the neighbor to the south of us (John Wylie) had one so called ‘central’ in Pinckey & was relayed to Gregory. Of course smoke brought many people. Aunt Mina yelled to Uncle Will “Elmer’s burning barns lets go.”
There was lumber piled behind the chicken coop. Stanchions had to be built to hold cows for milking in the morning—Just out in the open.
Very early Sunday morning Mr. Henry Howlett (owner of the hardware store in town) arrived at our place with all kinds of tools, nails and many other things that Dad might need and said “We will talk later, bring back anything you don’t need.” He had been Dads mentor since Dad was a teenager and was dearly loved. Later when Mr. Howlett was our state representative he was killed when the Hotel Olds in Lansing burned. Colb went to Gregory the morning after the fire and heard the bad news. He told me sometime later, that was the only time he ever saw Dad cry. It was a great loss to many people.
The barn was rebuilt as quickly as possible, under Dads direction. Workers were paid from insurance money. Supplies on credit. Ross was home as much as possible and helped with the farm work. Lee, Jim & Russell came when they could. Aunt Mina was there often helping Mother.
One day Dad happened to see the dog, getting eggs from a nest on the ground. He threw a hammer at the dog, and as he moved forward he stepped on a board with a nail sticking up–so he was going to the Doctor and on crutches for awhile. But work went on.
It was a hot dry summer. Many fires of unknown origin. A week later neighbors on the road west of us lost their home & life of small girl child. It was a sad neighborhood.
At one point Doctors thought it best that Mother rest as much as possible. That is when Mina & I took over, with Mother to coach us we did very well for two young girls. We baked bread twice a week, Tuesday and Saturday, 8 loaves & a large pan of buns each time. We did the canning–best I remember– 150 quarts of tomatoes, 50 quarts of chili sauce. Lots of corn and beans (green & yellow) and lots of catsup. All done cold pack in hot water bath in the boiler. Lots of pickles bread & butter, Dills & mustard pickles and of course jellies and jams. In the winter canned beef & mince meat, sometimes wild rabbit or pheasant. Sauerkraut in a 5 gallon crock. We had much help from Dad & the boys as they could give. I don’t think either of us had regrets about that time. The family was close and it was just something that needed to be done and we all knew and felt our efforts were appreciated. Also Aunt Mina was able to come for a day or maybe do some sewing that we couldn’t. She was a very good seamstress, really could, “make a silk purse of of a sows ear.” So many of Dads family gave mother a helping hand when it was needed. Often just a good visit from Aunt Grace or Agnes.
After Mother was better and able to do more I went to Detroit to work. Mina wasn’t ready to be away from home so much for a few years. She was in Detroit from about 1940 and stayed through 1946 when she was married. At that time she went back to Gregory to help out for a few days and never left. Her husband Oliver came on the weekends and stayed with his Mother during the week.
Dad never bought a tractor. So when He & Mother decided to sell the farm and move back to Gregory they held an auction. They had horses, cattle and an assortment of things to get rid of.
The house in Gregory had been purchased a few years earlier and rented out till they needed it themselves. It is located on Bullis street next door to Aunt Mina, Dads sister.
By the time they moved back to Gregory, Colb was the only one of us children living at home. He married and moved to Dexter in 1946. Mother remarked they were afraid the neighbors would talk. So there was only the two of them. Mother had been a semi invalid from arthritis since 1934.
In October of 1929 I had surgery for appendicitis. Jack a year later. After that Dr. Claude Sigler told Dad he checked the bean stack to see if it was a good enough crop to do another surgery. The Doctor had known the family for many years. I think Aunt Mina & Agnes & Addie were in school with him. He told me one time they used to tease Addie when they had ‘relaxing time’ by singing ‘Addie McGee was ahead of me when I was in the army’ I think the right words were ‘Biddy McGee’ not sure. Then Father Doctor Fred told me if I was as good a girl as my Aunt Adelaide I’d not have any trouble.
In 1936 I decided to take a class in interior Decorating at Detroit Art Institute in the old Metropolitan Building. Which was located back of J L Hudson on John R. I worked nights at Adcraft Sales, a screen process shop. Nice foreman, Cal Hill, let me go to an evening class once a week taught by Baird Adams. Anyway Adcraft was where I met Art Pyden. He stayed in screen printing till his retirement in 1976. Except for a brief time at Republic Aircraft Plant during World War II. We started dating (he was catholic) and by August 1937 I had decided I wanted to take instruction in Catholic faith. I talked to Mother & Dad–no problem their. I did not want to continue seeing him if I didn’t want to be Catholic. We became engaged at Thanksgiving and married June 25, 1938, at Saint Cecilia on Livernois in Detroit, Michigan.
Jack & Leona (Jaynes) were married in July 1940 she was catholic. Fred & Millie (Rieman) also catholic were married while he was in the Army in September of 1943. I don’t think any of the family had thought it a problem. Then in 1952 (I think) Mother decided to take instruction. She died May 30, 1963.
Dad continued to be busy after they moved to Gregory. He was always needed somewhere–at the blacksmith shop–he knew how to do most things and if they were busy and he was in a hurry he could fix whatever he needed himself. He sometimes worked at the lumber yard. His hunting buddies were always ready to go whenever they could. If he wasn’t working he would find something to do outside-he loved the outdoors so much. One summer he got a friend to go with him to burn out worm nests from trees along the roadsides. (Maybe he wouldn’t be allowed to do that now–I wonder–would he be taking someone’s job?) He had a thing about trees. Mother said to one time on the farm “Oh your Dad would never disturb a tree if it wasn’t really necessary.” After they were in Gregory some man was looking for Oak Trees and offered him $250.00 for one in the front yard. Mother guessed he thought Dad would be grateful to get all that cash. But no way would he let that tree go and she would have been upset if he had. I always felt they knew so much and had such “Common Sense”.
At this time the year 2000 only myself and Jack Milton Ray are still living.
Note: This piece was written by my maternal grandmother Adelaide Norrine Pyden. She was 86 when she wrote this. She passed in 2006 at the age of 92. The file was originally done on a Mac. Only errors occurring due to conversion to Microsoft Word have been edited.
Dreams come in many forms. For some people, dreams occur like random flashes of broken images while other individuals may experience visuals that are in-depth with extreme detail. Many people dream in various shades of black and white, and others dream in vivid colors. Dreams are as unique as the individual who has them. There are even people who claim they don’t dream at all. Some dreams can have such an effect on us that they may linger on our minds for days. However, some can become easily forgotten within minutes upon us waking.
And yet, there are those of us who have dreams that are more than mere fantasy. I’m speaking in regards to premonitions like the ones that I have. When I get premonitions, they happen like reoccurring dreams. Often, I will have them over a matter of weeks and more extreme ones have happened over a matter…
View original post 300 more words
Who else is tired of waiting for the next series of Sherlock?
I am. But, I know there is the Christmas Special coming out…this year?
Anyhow, I’ve exhausted watching series 1, 2 and 3 for now. With so few…
Seinfeld episodes though…so many… Also, they rerun like…well…crazy…
So, here is another Sherlock crossover…this time with Seinfeld!
Opening scene – Watson at a meeting for the Mary Morstan Foundation.
WATSON: You want me to find a poem about Mary? May she rest in peace?!
LESTRADE: Well, we think it would be a nice touch for the Morstan Foundation literature. Do you have a favorite poet, John?
WATSON: I like, um…<mutters something unintelligible under his breath.>
WATSON: <mutters it again>
LESTRADE: Well, you should choose the poem since you knew Mary best at the time of her unfortunate <clears his throat>…accident.
<John looks at Lestrade suspiciously.>
Scene 2 – John and Sherlock at Speedy’s Cafe later that day.
SHERLOCK: You say, Lestrade cleared his throat?
WATSON: He did it right as he said “her unfortunate accident.”
SHERLOCK: Not following…That fly on that wall over there….seems to be….
WATSON: Sherlock! As you well know, a throat-clear is a non-verbal implication of doubt – he thinks I killed Mary!
SHERLOCK: Oh, come on Irene!
WATSON: What time is it?
SHERLOCK (looks at his watch): 1:11. I must go.
WATSON: Right now?
SHERLOCK: I must leave to meet Janine.
WATSON: Oh, the office girl. How is that going?
SHERLOCK: Adequate. I’m not intrigued by her though. For once I’d like to be intrigued.
WATSON: Where’s Molly?
SHERLOCK: She’s having Anthea, Lady Smallwood and Mrs. Hudson over.
WATSON: Why DO people have children?
SHERLOCK: Perpetuation of the species.
SHERLOCK: By the way John, only for the record –
WATSON: No, I did not! <They exit the Speedy’s Cafe.>
Scene 3 – Molly at her flat with Anthea, Lady Smallwood and Mrs. Hudson.
ANTHEA: …but because it comes out of your baby, the aroma is delightful!
MOLLY: Well, that’s…that’s sweet.
LADY SMALLWOOD: Being a mother has made me feel so beautiful.
ANTHEA: Molly, you have got to have a baby!
MOLLY: Oh, hey, you know…I had a piece of whitefish over at a fish shop just off Marlament road the other day…
MRS. HUDSON: Molly. Move to Dorset and have a baby already.
MOLLY: I really like London.
ANTHEA: London’s a toilet. When’s the last time you saw my little Alan?
MOLLY: Uh, it was in the Hamptons.
ANTHEA: Oh! I have pictures!
MOLLY: No, no, that’s okay, it’s…
ANTHEA (shows Molly and the ladies pictures of Alan): Look at him! Just look at him!
<Molly is revolted by the sight of “breathtaking” little Alan.>
Scene 4 – Sherlock and John walking down the street after leaving Speedy’s Cafe.
SHERLOCK: So, Molly was telling me about this piece of whitefish she had the other day…
WATSON: Do you really think I’m wrong about Lestrade?
SHERLOCK: If you really want to test him out, try the old Charles Augustus Magnussen trick.
WATSON: Charles Augustus Magnussen?
SHERLOCK: When Magnussen would leave a meeting, he’d purposefully abandon a briefcase with a tape recorder in it. Then after five minutes, he’d come back for it and listen to what everyone said about him.
WATSON: That’s paranoid.
SHERLOCK: Yes, it is.
WATSON: I like it!
SHERLOCK: I thought you might.
Scene 5 – Mycroft in Sherlock and Watson’s flat. Janine enters.
JANINE: Oh, hi! I’m Janine. You must be Mycroft. <Mycroft is smitten with Janine and grins goofily.> Sherlock’s told me a lot about you. <Mycroft continues grinning.> Well, I’m supposed to meet Sherlock, it’s my day off. I work in an office.
MYCROFT (mouths the words): Typing. <Knocks over a bowl of fruit on the counter.>
JANINE: Oh, careful! <Sherlock enters.>
SHERLOCK: Hello, apologies I’m late.
JANINE: That’s alright. Mycroft let me in.
SHERLOCK: You know, if we make a dash for it, we can still make the cinema.
JANINE: Okay. <Touches Mycroft’s hand> It has been very nice meeting you.
<Sherlock and Janine leave. Mycroft sniffs his hand where Janine touched him, and makes a delighted noise.>
Scene 6 – Mycroft and Anderson in Anderson’s flat.
MYCROFT: I’m in trouble my friend. I just met a woman.
ANDERSON: Go on.
MYCROFT: Well, she’s Sherlock’s girlfriend.
ANDERSON: Ah, yes. Forbidden Love.
MYCROFT: She works in an office. Her name is Janine.
ANDERSON: “Janine.” I don’t know the woman, but she sounds quite fetching.
MYCROFT: I can’t even speak in front of her. <Sits down on the sofa.>
ANDERSON: Sherlock! What could she possibly see in Sherlock? <Walks in front of Mycroft and trips over his feet.>
MYCROFT: She has delicate beauty.
ANDERSON: Sherlock wouldn’t know delicate beauty if it bludgeoned him over the head.
MYCROFT: And yet, he’s my brother.
ANDERSON: And therein lies the tragedy. For I believe, sadly for you, that there is but one woman meant for each of us. Only for one perfect angel whom we are put on this earth.
MYCROFT: Oh, that’s beautiful, Anderson.
ANDERSON: One winsome tulip we ceaselessly yearn for throughout our dreary, mundane workaday lives! And you, my friend, have found your angel. I can tell. For my heart has also been captured by a breathless beauty – whom I fear I will never possess.
MYCROFT: I thought we were talking about me.
ANDERSON: Right. Mycroft, you have to confront Sherlock.
MYCROFT: Confront Sherlock? I can’t.
ANDERSON: You must!
MYCROFT: I won’t!
ANDERSON: You will!
Scene 7 – Sherlock, Molly and John at a newsstand.
MOLLY (to Sherlock, imitating Anthea): “Molly, you absolutely have got to have a baby.” Ugh.
WATSON: Where are all the poetry publications?
MOLLY: The London Times has poetry.
WATSON: Yes. The London Times.
SHERLOCK: Why do you invite these women over if they annoy you so much?
MOLLY: They’re my friends, but they act as if having a baby takes some kind of talent.
SHERLOCK: Come now. You want to have a baby.
MOLLY: Why? Because I can?
SHERLOCK: It is THE life force. I saw a show on the mollusk last night. The mollusk travels from Alaska to Chile just for a shot at another mollusk. Molly, do you think you’re any better?
MOLLY: Yes! I think I am better than the mollusk!
TOM: I couldn’t help overhearing what you were saying.
MOLLY: Oh, I’m sorry.
TOM: No, no, I think I agree with you. I must say, all this talk about having babies.
MOLLY: Yes, like you must procreate.
TOM: Besides, anyone can do it.
MOLLY: Oh, it’s been done to death. <smiles>
Scene 8 – John in another meeting at the Foundation. He has a briefcase with a tape recorder in it.
WATSON: I, um, should have a poem very soon now.
LESTRADE: Are you okay, John?
WATSON: No, no, not really. Ever since Mary passed on, I have good days and bad. <Turns the briefcase towards the woman on his left.> Some days, I’m quite haunted by one word – why. Why Mary? Why wasn’t it me licking those Thank You note envelopes? Why am I still here? Well, I have to run. <Gets up and leaves the meeting.>
<John is shown standing on the street while the tape rolls inside the briefcase.>
Cut back to the Foundation meeting.
LESTRADE: …and the stock options for this year look quite, uh… <John returns and retrieves the briefcase.>
WATSON (apologetic): Briefcase. <Shrugs and exits.>
Scene 9 – Molly and Tom at Speedy’s Cafe.
MOLLY: So, Tom. If I don’t want children, does that make me a bad humanitarian?
TOM: Not at all.
MOLLY: ‘Cause, I mean, when you get to know me, you’ll see that I’m a pretty good humanitarian. <Waitress comes to the table and pours more coffee.> YOU are doing a wonderful job, by the way. Thanks a lot. <To Tom> Right? Am I right? <Mycroft walks by.> Mycroft. Mycroft! Come here, get a look at my new friend Tom. <Mycroft and Tom shake hands.> Oh, you got a little, uh…
MYCROFT (wipes powdered sugar off his face): Oh, I just had two double-powdered doughnuts.
MOLLY: Oh. Are you alright?
MYCROFT: Yeah, I’ll be okay.
MOLLY: You know, Sherlock has one of those every time he bombs a case.
MYCROFT: Well, I’m sure he’ll be sharing his next one with Janine.
MOLLY: Oh, no…that won’t last.
MYCROFT: What do you mean?
MOLLY: He’s not ‘intrigued’.
<Mycroft suddenly looks elated and runs out.>
Scene 10 – John shows up at his and Sherlock’s flat later that night with the briefcase.
WATSON: Lemme’ tell you something, that Augustus Magnussen? You wonder how some of these people get to the top? Ideas like this! Brilliant! Hah-hah! <Notices that the briefcase is damaged.> Look at this – what the fuck happened? The whole side is damaged here…and the lock is broken.
SHERLOCK: How long did you leave it up there?
WATSON: Five minutes. What the fuck happened here?
SHERLOCK: Play the tape.
WATSON: I have to rewind it first. <John presses the rewind button on the tape recorder. He and Sherlock stand there, waiting impatiently as it rewinds.> Alright, alright.
<John plays back the tape. We hear a voice ask, “Did anyone notice John’s fingernails?” Then a female voice answering, “Oh my, yes. They looked like they were eaten away by weevils.” The male voice remarks, “It’s warm in here. Open a window.” Then, “Hey! What are you doing?” The female voice exclaims, “Dear God.” There’s a clunking sound on the tape, and the recording ends.>
SHERLOCK: Is that all of it?
WATSON: Stopped dead.
SHERLOCK: What do you make of it?
WATSON: I don’t know. <John sits down at the table. Mycroft enters.>
MYCROFT: Sherlock. May, we talk?
WATSON (to Mycroft): Kind of busy here.
MYCROFT: I’d like to talk to Sherlock in private.
WATSON: Why can’t I stay?
MYCROFT: Because it doesn’t concern you.
WATSON: Well, if it doesn’t concern me, then I can stay. <Mycroft grabs the back of John’s chair, drags him out into the hallway and closes the door.>
SHERLOCK: So, what’s on your tiny little mind?
SHERLOCK: Janine? What about Janine?
MYCROFT: I love her, Sherlock!
SHERLOCK: You what?
MYCROFT: I love her!
SHERLOCK: Is that so?
MYCROFT: Oh…she’s real. She can bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan.
SHERLOCK: What does that even mean?
MYCROFT: Oh, and that voice!
SHERLOCK: What about her name?
MYCROFT: Janine? Oh, it’s a beautiful name. <Mycroft sits on the sofa.> Janine. Janine. Janine!
SHERLOCK: She does have quite a nice head of hair…
MYCROFT: Oh, it’s incredible. Although, I might replace her velvet scrunchie with one of those tortoise clips. I love those.
SHERLOCK: You do have…specific tastes.
MYCROFT: Oh, I know what I want, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: She has nice hands.
MYCROFT: Oh, she’s a dreamboat. But, you don’t like her, so…
SHERLOCK: Maybe I could, you’re making some pretty good points.
MYCROFT: No you can’t, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: But I might.
MYCROFT: Oh, no you don’t.
SHERLOCK: Why not? The voice? The hands? The bacon?
SHERLOCK: I think I can! I even like the name! Janine!
MYCROFT (frantic): Huh?
MYCROFT: Huh-yah! <Mycroft loses it and runs out past John, who is still sitting in the hallway on a chair.>
Scene 11 – Mycroft and Anderson in Anderson’s flat.
MYCROFT: So now Sherlock wants her more than ever!
MYCROFT: What am I going to do Anderson?
ANDERSON: Don’t despair, my friend. <Anderson walks in front of Mycroft and trips over his feet. Again.> I won’t allow your love to go unrequited. Not like mine.
MYCROFT: What, again with you?
ANDERSON: Sorry. But love is spice with many tastes. A dizzying array of textures…and moments.
MYCROFT: If only I could say things like that around her.
ANDERSON (getting an idea): Yes…
Scene 12 – Molly and John at Speedy’s Cafe listening to the briefcase tape.
MOLLY: Well, I hear three distinct sounds. A low rumple…followed by a metallic ‘squink’…
WATSON: Yes! Yes, I heard the ‘squink’!
MOLLY: …followed by a mysterious…’glonk.’
WATSON: It’s baffling, isn’t it?
MOLLY: Well, one question does come to mind. Just…simply asking them what happened to the briefcase?
WATSON: They would never tell me, Molly. First of all, they probably think that I killed Mary. Besides, I don’t even think they like me. <Sherlock comes over to the table.>
SHERLOCK: That Janine! I am intrigued by her!
MOLLY: Intrigued? When did that happen?
SHERLOCK: Yesterday. At exactly… Six O’clock.
MOLLY: Well, maybe we should double. I’m pretty ‘intrigued’ myself.
SHERLOCK: You just met that man yesterday.
MOLLY: Yep, but we have a common goal.
SHERLOCK: A barren, sterile existence that ends when you die?
MOLLY (happily): Yes.
WATSON: And you really believe this chap doesn’t want to have kids.
MOLLY: Yes, of course.
SHERLOCK: Molly, a man will easily say anything to get a woman.
MOLLY: Oh, please. He wouldn’t say ‘anything’.
WATSON: Molly, I once told a woman that I coined the phrase, “Pardon my French.”
SHERLOCK: I once told a woman that I don’t eat cake because it goes right to my thighs.
WATSON: I once told a woman that I really enjoy spending time with my family.
Scene 13 – Mycroft and Anderson in an aisle at the office where Janine works.
ANDERSON: With your looks and my words, we’ll have built the perfect beast. <Mycroft claps him on the shoulder, then goes to the other side of the aisle to talk to Janine.>
JANINE: Oh, hi! Mycroft.
ANDERSON (whispers across from the adjacent cubicle): Hi. How are you?
MYCROFT: Hi. How are you?
JANINE: I’m great.
ANDERSON: I too am well.
MYCROFT: I too am well.
ANDERSON: Do I smell Sainsbury’s Basics?
MYCROFT: Do I smell?
ANDERSON: Sainsbury’s Basics!
MYCROFT: Uh, Sainsbury’s Basics.
JANINE: Oh, my shampoo. Yeah, it is Sainsbury’s Basics, I got a free sample in with my junk mail.
MYCROFT (talks rapidly in an attempt to keep up with Anderson): Well, there really is no junk-mail…well, everybody wants to get a check or a birthday card, but…
ANDERSON (frantic): …it takes just as much man-power to deliver it as their precious little greeting cards…
MYCROFT: Anderson! <Reaches around the cubicle wall and pokes him. Anderson falls over.>
MYCROFT: Uh, human. It’s…human to be moved by a fragrance.
JANINE: That’s so true.
MYCROFT: Her bouquet cleaved his hardened…
MYCROFT: …shell. And fondled his muscled heart. He imbibed her glistening spell…just before the other shoe…fell.
JANINE: Mycroft, that is so lovely.
MYCROFT: It’s by an unknown 20th-century poet.
JANINE: Oh, what’s his name?
MYCROFT: Anderson. <On the other side of the cubicle, Anderson preens proudly.>
Scene 14 – Molly and Tom in Molly’s flat.
TOM: Molly, you’ve changed my life.
MOLLY: Oh, Tom…you can go on and on about how you don’t want children…and it sounds, it sounds really very nice, but…the truth is, I don’t know if you mean it or not.
TOM: I got a vasectomy this morning.
MOLLY: Although, I have a hunch you mean it.
Scene 15 – Sherlock talking with Janine at the office.
SHERLOCK: I just came by to tell you – I’m very, very happy about this relationship. Very happy.
JANINE: Oh. Well, that’s um…<clears her throat>…nice. <Sherlock looks suspicious. Janine spins around in her chair and Sherlock notices her velvet scrunchie has been replaced with a tortoise clip.>
SHERLOCK’s brain: A tortoise clip!
Scene 16 – Sherlock approaching his flat door. He meets Anderson coming out of Mycroft’s place.
SHERLOCK: Hello, Anderson.
ANDERSON: Hello, Sherlock. How’s Janine?
SHERLOCK: Janine? What do you care? <Anderson shrugs. Sherlock notices he’s carrying a Huron Tower Shop office bag.>
ANDERSON: Well, ta-ta! <Scampers away.>
SHERLOCK: Wait a minute! <A manic chase scene ensues, with Sherlock chasing Anderson from one end of the building to the other. Sherlock finally catches up with him in the hallway on another floor.>
SHERLOCK: Alright, Anderson! This is it! <Shoves him against the wall.>
ANDERSON (sweating): Easy, Sherlock. Steady. You wouldn’t want to lose your cool at a time like this.
SHERLOCK: Why not?
ANDERSON: Because right now, I’m the only chance you’ve got. <Anderson giggles nervously. Sherlock makes Anderson flinch, and his giggling is choked off.>
SHERLOCK (squints his eyes): This way. <They exit.>
Scene 17 – Sherlock and Anderson in Anderson’s flat.
SHERLOCK: I can’t believe I’m losing Janine!
ANDERSON: I know how you feel. For I, too, have a woman for whom I pine.
SHERLOCK: I thought we were talking about me.
SHERLOCK: Anyway, I don’t need your help. <Turns to leave.>
ANDERSON: Oh, don’t you? Mystery boy? You really think you can manipulate that beautiful young woman like the half-soused Sherlockian rabble that lap up your inane “observations”?
SHERLOCK: Alright, Anderson. What do I have to do to get you to stop pulling the strings for Mycroft?
ANDERSON: Well, there is a little something you can do for me…
SHERLOCK: Come, out with it.
ANDERSON: It’s about…Molly.
SHERLOCK: Molly? What does she have to – <notices Anderson looking up at him longlingly.> Oh no…
ANDERSON: You’ve studied her…You know her…You’ve teased her. Give me some inside information. Anything I can use!
SHERLOCK (shrugs): Well, I know she doesn’t want to have children. <Anderson considers the implications of this.>
Scene 18 – Cut back to Molly and Tom at Molly’s flat.
TOM: I thought you’d be a little more enthusiastic about it.
MOLLY: I know, I don’t want…<clears her throat>…children.
TOM: What was that?
MOLLY: Well, Tom, maybe I have a little doubt. I mean, nothing is one-hundred percent.
TOM: This is! Oh boy, I always do this.
TOM: Oh, I get all jazzed up about something and I go way too far with it.
TOM: Oh, yeah. Like last summer. I’m watching the telly and I saw one of those jet-skis. £4000 later and it’s sitting in my car park.
MOLLY: You know, that’s strange, actually, because I’m sort of the same way. I mean once, for no reason, I permed my hair and I had all these curls hanging in my face all the time…
TOM: Sometimes I think I do want children. Maybe a whole lot of children!
MOLLY: Sometimes I think about wearing my hair very short.
TOM: Yes! I think I like short hair. Very short.
Scene 19 – Sherlock and John in their kitchen. John has brought over a model of the conference room at the Foundation.
WATSON: This is a crude mock-up of the conference room. 1/14th scale.
SHERLOCK: When did you build this atrocity?
WATSON: Yesterday, took the day off. <Picks up a Doctor Strange action figure from the model and pretends it’s him.> Now, from the time I left the room…
SHERLOCK (points at the Doctor Strange figure): Wait, that’s you?
SHERLOCK (picks up a Everett Ross figurine from the model): I really think the Everett Ross figurine should be you.
WATSON (hastily grabs the Everett Ross figurine away from Sherlock): Alright, whatever! Now. Whatever caused the damage…<drops a tiny briefcase onto the table in the model>…was jarring enough to completely stop the tape.
WATSON: That’s what we know.
SHERLOCK: We already knew that John.
WATSON: Well, yeah.
SHERLOCK: Just give me some valid idea of what you think it could be.
WATSON: I don’t know if you’re ready for it.
WATSON: I believe that I am about to become the target of a systematic process of intimidation and manipulation, the likes of which you have never –
SHERLOCK: Correct; I’m not ready for this. <The door buzzer sounds, Sherlock answers it.> Yes?
VOICE ON SPEAKER: It’s Janine.
SHERLOCK: Come up. <To John> Alright, it’s Janine, you must go.
WATSON: I’m not done here, Sherlock. <Picks up the model of the conference room.> I’m going to keep investigating. This thing is like an onion. The more layers you peel, the more it stinks. <Janine enters, John leaves.>
JANINE: What was that?
SHERLOCK: We were just, oh…
JANINE: Listen, I had a long talk with Mycroft today…
SHERLOCK: Ah, you did?
JANINE: Well, the thing is, I um…I think I have a little crush on him. <Mycroft slides in the door on one knee.>
MYCROFT: I’m so happy! My world suddenly has meaning!
SHERLOCK (to Janine): This man? This is the man you have a crush on?
JANINE: Well, I have feelings for both of you.
MYCROFT: How can you have feelings for him? We are soul mates.
SHERLOCK: Why can’t I be a soul mate?
MYCROFT: Sherlock, you really think that Janine would want you to be the father of her children?
JANINE: Children? Who said anything about children? I don’t want to have children.
<Sherlock and Mycroft look at each other, puzzled.>
Scene 20 – John back at the conference room at the Foundation.
WATSON: There are some people in this room who would have been very happy to never see this briefcase again. There are people in this room who think they can destroy other people’s property and get away with it. Well, let me tell you something about those people. They weren’t counting on this brain! And – this tape recorder.
WATSON: You’ll have your turn! The truth must be heard. <Plays back the tape.> That is all there is. And yet, it speaks volumes. A low rumple. A metallic ‘squink.’ A ‘glonk.’ Someone crying out…”Dear God!” Let’s start with, …with you, Lestrade.
LESTRADE: John, Jeff here was moving a chair…he lost his balance and knocked it over…it must have fallen on your briefcase, which, for some reason, contained a running tape recorder?
WATSON: Alright, then. We’ve gotten to the bottom of that.
Scene 21 – Sherlock and Anderson in the office of Dr. Robert Frankland – urologist. Molly and Tom enter. Molly has cut her hair short.
MOLLY: Well, what are you fellows doing here?
SHERLOCK: Getting vasectomies.
ANDERSON (to Molly): I’m doing it for you.
SHERLOCK (to Molly): What have you done to your hair?
MOLLY: I cut it.
SHERLOCK: It’s a bit short.
SHERLOCK (to Tom): What are you doing here?
MOLLY: Tom’s having his vasectomy reversed.
SHERLOCK and ANDERSON: Reversed?! <Mycroft comes hobbling out of the doctors’ office in pain, after having a vasectomy of his own, and exits. Sherlock and Anderson look at each other, and bolt for the door themselves.>
Final scene – John reading the poem for Mary at the Foundation.
WATSON: …he imbibed her glistening spell…just before the other shoe…fell.
LESTRADE: Is that a Keats poem?
WATSON: No, it’s an Anderson. Well, I have to run. <Smiles, pats his briefcase and exits.>
LESTRADE: Does anyone think John might have murdered Mary?
JEFFERSON HOPE: Oh, yes. I just assumed he murdered her.
SARAH SAWYER: Of course he killed her.
LESTRADE: So it’s not just me, then. Alright! Back to business.
End of episode.
My original words and graphics done on Microsoft Paint.
I had lost a lot of my written original writings in the basement flood of Summer 2014.
But…I had some stored upstairs in my room on a few floppy disks.
Thank you my friends for helping me get this off of the floppy disk where my old GeoCities webpage information stored.
I wrote this back in 1997…..I was 26 years old then. I remember thinking I was ‘getting up there’ HAHAHAHA!!!…So naive I was…in more ways than one! Still am I think, and will probably always be.
“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.”
― Albert Einstein
Peace, Love and Happiness to Everyone! XOXO
People that share their mistakes, failures, victories and wins and who do not take offense in the discussion of them are underrated.
Listen, talk, learn, debate and interact with them when you can.
Your differences will be most understood in agreement or disagreement.
These are the people who will be the first to help you up and help yourself instead of berating you and the reasons you are at the bottom in the first place.
They understand that you are infinite times harder on yourself than they could ever be and knew how it felt at one time.
The rated strides you make in figuring out who you are, what you are, and where you are going and end up they see as your thanks to them.
That smile that they carry with them agknowledges your smile as smiles of thanks to them…no words necessary, from the heart..They see that as the best thanks they could ever get.
This is true for long lasting friendships, mentors, the briefest encounters, everyone we meet….
Interact with each other regardless of nationality, gender, race, color, social standing, style, a somebody in popular society, and the nobodies in popular society.
All of us at one time or another are these people.
“This is your confession, your last chance to confess, of lives you have entered and with those that you’ve messed.
I can give you redemption, I can make everything good. Do you believe that it’s possible, and that I could?”
“That’s a ridiculous first question that you pose, because how can bad become good after what I disclose?”
“Hmm, let’s start at the beginning it’s a good place to start. Or will you argue with that, and drive us further apart?”
“No, I have no wish to make things worse. I’m ready to start our deep and meaningful converse.”
“That’s good, I’m pleased that you agree.
I was thinking that there might arise some more difficulty.
I will ignore your childhood, I’ll make allowances there.
You were rash at times but you tried to be fair.
Your adolescence deserves more of my disdain,
There’s plenty there on which I could…
View original post 360 more words